Akatsuki Teenagers!
by Vincent Charles Wayne
Summary: Well, a couple of Akatsuki members are out on a mission...in the real world! How did they get here? What's their mission? Find out with Asuki Higamashi and her best friend Mi-chan as the story unfolds!-Title change! Sorry but I have a whole new plot!-
1. Prolouge Sorta

**Akatsuki Teenage Cats**

**Prologue (sorta)**

I woke up to the sound of, "VINNIE! Get your ass up!" I peeled my eyes open. I wanted to close them again but did not want to find ice all over me. I rolled over and glanced at the clock. But of course I'm blind so I couldn't see what so freaking ever! I grabbed my glasses and stuffed them on my face. Now when I glanced at the clock, I could actually see what time it was. 6:30. On a Sunday. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I rose out of bed to go kill whoever had woken me up so damn early. After some serious thinking, I decided against it. I knew it was Booie anyway, but she could die later. Instead I followed my usual morning ritual. Which was:

Get out of bed

Say, "Hello Danna" to my Sasori poster above my bed

Go to my computer

Start watching Shippuden

And so here I am sitting at my computer, watching Shippuden. I happen to be a Sasori fangirl, so of course I was cheering, "DIE Sukura DIE! Go, kick to face!" Yes, I'm cheering on fictional characters. Deal with it. I decided I wanted a Sammich. Mmmm Sammich, capitalized for flavor. I let the episode keep playing, because I had already seen it before. I walked to the kitchen and made myself a yummy Sammich. I enjoyed it a lot, but figuring I could catch the end of the episode, I literally ran back to my room, sliding and banging into the linen closet at the end of the hallway. I was thrown backwards and landed on my ass. (Yes, I've actually done this, it hurt.)

"Owie that hurt…" I mumbled, standing up. I walked into my bedroom, cursing everything, and sat down in my computer chair. I looked up and noticed the episode was over. I didn't feel like watching it over again, so I decided on a nap. I got up and turned to lay on my bed. That's when I realized I was not the only person in my room…


	2. I don't get it either

**Akatsuki Teenage Cats**

**Chapter 1: I don't get it either.**

Clip from last chapter:

_I didn't feel like watching it over again, so I decided on a nap. I got up and turned to lay on my bed. That's when I realized I was not the only person in my room…_

I nearly screamed. Literally, like almost a Bloody Murder type of scream. How I did not notice them before, I'll never know. All I know now is that I had a big problem on my hands. A BIG problem. Bigger than Godzilla.

The Akatsuki were sitting on my bed.

You are probably thinking, "WHAT THE FUCK??????" It's not just you, I was thinking the same thing. I saw them staring at me, some of them amused, some of them not. Then I looked down at myself and realized what I must have looked like.

My hair all messed up, with peach shorts on, and a slightly dirty white tank top. I happen to go to sleep in whatever I was wearing that day, and since it was cleaning day, that's what I wore. I silently thanked Jashin that I was so tired that I didn't take my bra off. Also, my room was a mess. They were sitting on all of my clothes, which I had slept on the night before, because I don't care about wrinkles and they were comfy.

I backed up a bit, blushing so hard my face must have been the color of the clouds on their cloaks, (which it pretty bright.) I spun on my heel and grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt, and rushed to the bathroom. I came back rather quickly, and locked the door, before addressing Pein, "Sir Leader, please make sure no one comes in. Also, don't touch any of my stuff, and make sure the rest don't either. I will be back in 10 minutes tops."

He seemed amused at my words, but nodded anyway. I slammed the door and proceeded to get dressed. While I was in the bathroom, I hoped Pein didn't notice the yaoi comic on my desk, or my giant Sasori poster. But of course, besides me, that's probably the first thing they noticed.

After my running out of the room, to put on make-up and make my self look pretty, I came back to room. Of course, I thought about knocking, but that might seem too suspicious. So I went to grab a knife to pick the lock with. When I stomped out into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, my friend Booie noticed and immediately screamed, "OH GOD PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! I'M SORRY ABOUT WAKING YOU UP EARLY!!!"

I laughed. "I'm not going to kill you, I…" My mind struggled to make up an excuse. Then I got one. "I just locked myself out of my room."

"Oh. Okay then!" And Booie went back to watching T.V. Of course. So I went back to my room and proceeded to pick the lock. I heard the lock click and I pushed open the door. "Guys?" I whispered, shutting the door behind me. Well, they weren't sitting on the bed anymore. They probably heard the lock and hid. And Whaddaya know, I was right! I saw Sasori's red hair peek out form underneath the bed. Then I screamed and ran towards him just as he pulled himself out from underneath completely. He had this confused look on his face, and it turned to shock when I glomped him. "OMFJ! You went under my bed and you're still alive!!!" I said this because I had a cat that went under my bed and did not come out. We sat there for a minute at least, mainly because he was still confused and I was hugging the man of my dreams. That's when Deidara came and poked me in the back.

"Could you let go of my Danna, un?" I turned my head slowly to give him an ice-cold stare, one I was sure could rival Itachi's, who, apparently, had hid on the ceiling.

"No."

"Why not, un?"

"Do you see that poster?" I pointed towards my Sasori poster.

"Yes."

"That means I happen to like Sasori, and it also means I won't be letting go anytime soon."

"Oh."

I turned away, disgusted with his poor attempts to get me to let go. I snuggled in deeper to Sasori, perfectly happy with my position. That is until I received another poke to the back. "Did you not hear what I just-" I had turned around angrily, expecting to meet a certain blonde. But, instead, I met a man with piercings on his face. Now you must know, Pein scares the shit outta me, but him being so close it scared me so bad that I started shaking badly and squished myself closer to Sasori, if that was possible.

"Would you mind letting go of my member?" Pein said, his voice dripping with deadliness. I let go of Sasori and was out of his lap so fast that in 5 seconds I was clear across the room, cowering behind Kisame. Kisame seemed confused, but he turned around and asked me, "What are you doing?" I cowered some more before answering, "Hiding from Pein-sama."

"Why behind me?"

"You're taller than he is."

And thus an awkward silence took place. I waited for a few minutes before saying, "A gay baby has just been born!"

Everyone gave me a strange look, even Itachi. So I decided to been mean. "You have nothing to be staring at, Itachi, since you killed your family for a Klondike Bar." His eyes turned red with the Sharingan. Oh, Jashin, I hope I don't get killed for that. Or at least give me a Sammich before I go.


	3. Are you serious!

**Chapter 2: Are you serious?!**

Suddenly, I heard someone snort in the room. My head whipped towards the sound. Turns out it was Hidan. Everyone gave him a 'Look'. Then they ignored him. Pein started towards me, and I shrieked and cowered in fear. I felt him grab the collar of my shirt and force me up against the wall. I gasped in pain (lol get it?) as my head hit the wall. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his hot breath on my face. "How do you my name?" he hissed menacingly, gripping my shirt tighter.

"I would tell you, but you have to put me down first," I said quietly. He growled and dropped my shirt, leaving me to slide down the wall. "Give me a second, and stay in here. I'll be back." I took that chance to scurry out of the room.

I kicked Booie out of the house, and arranged the couch and chairs so that they would all be comfortable. I ran back to the room and tried to do a head count of how many people there were, but since they were all standing and grouped together and so damn tall, I couldn't see a thing. I tried jumping up and down, but that didn't work either. So I finally gave up and walked straight up to Pein, who was on my computer. Wait…OH SHIT PEIN IS ON MY COMPUTER! I had left an Akatsuki yaoi fanfic open last night and now everyone was crowding around him, reading it. "Noooooo!" I shouted, desperately trying to push past Kisame to get to the computer screen. "Don't read that!!!!" Everyone moved as they got to this one part. This one part happened to be the part with hardcore yaoi starring them! Well, that was a nice introduction to the world.

Hidan turned to face me. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!!!! I'M NOT GAY!!!" I smiled. "Well, that Hidan," I began, with Hidan still looking pissed, "Is yaoi. It's for fangirls, and it helps us cope with the fact you guys aren't real."

"Now," I continued, that same scary smile still plastered on face, "Please move away from the scarring images and follow me." I turned and started to walk out the door. No one moved. I turned and motioned for them. They finally got up and came grudgingly down the hallway. As the last person walked out, I stopped them. "Give me the money, Kakuzu-san," I said holding my hand out expectantly. He grumbled and pulled out the money he stole. "Thank you!" I smiled brightly and skipped down the hall.

When we were all assembled in the living room, I spoke first. "So, um…any questions?" I smiled again, while trying to suffocate my inner fangirl. (_Inner: CHAAAA!!!! YOSH! Akatsuki! Must glomp!!!!!)_

Pein stood up. "How much do you know about us?" He questioned. You could tell he was really close to a mental break down. I looked around, studying their faces. I know there were some things I couldn't say, and other things I thought were damn ass funny. That's when I noticed Tobi. He sitting by Zetsu, pointing at random things. Then I looked to Sasori. Then back at Tobi. I ran up to Sasori, and grabbed his left hand.

"What are doing?" he asked, obviously still perturbed by my last attack. "Checking something," I muttered, finding what I wanted to see. His Akatsuki ring, still on his left thumb and not on Tobi's. I then turned to Pein.

"Pein-sama, why is Tobi here if Sasori is still a me-"I didn't get to finish my question, as glomped me in one of those tackle-hugs of his. "AHHH! GIRLY KNOWS TOBI'S NAME!" he yelled cheerfully, as we fell to the ground. I was pretty sure one of eardrums had shattered. I pushed him off and sat up angrily.

"TOBI!!!!" I yelled. He looked at me with anime tears in his one visible eye hole thing. I sighed. "Is girly mad at Tobi?" he whimpered. I got up slowly and headed towards the kitchen. I got into the junk drawer and got out a bottle. I grabbed two waters from the fridge, then walked back in to the living room.

When I walked back into the living room, I tossed the water bottle at Pein. "Think fast, " I said quickly, and with his super awesome ninja reflexes he managed to catch it before in bonked him in the face. "What's this for?" he asked confused. I sighed, then walked up to him and grabbed his hand. I gave him two Advil from the bottle I grabbed earlier.

"Thanks." He smiled. I nearly chocked on my own Advil. "AHHHHHH!" I screamed. Everyone looked unnerved, as that was a really loud noise and they were freaked out already. Pein lost his smile and instead looked at me like he thought I was the crazy one!

"Pein SMILED!!!" I screamed, dropping my luckily closed water bottled and ran down the hallway. "It's the sign of the APOCOLYPSE!!!" I kept screaming until I ran into the closet door (again) and fell on my ass (again). "OWWW!" I yelled. I stood up and faced the door. "Stupid %&^&*^&$&(&%^ ^&^% &% B ^^*&( *&&*^ ^%& &T&% &%^$*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111one!"

And then there was silence. And then I heard Deidara say, "I think she out-cussed you Hidan, yeah." I walked slowly down the hallway, super aware of what felt like large bump start to form. I came back into the living room, sitting down and taking 4 Advil. "Now, back to the question at hand. Pein-sama," I continued, as if I hadn't just embarrassed myself so much that they must think I'm insane. "Why is Tobi here if Sasori's still ali-?"

I never got to finish my sentence, because something warm and wet was touching my arm. I closed my eyes, waited 15 seconds, and turned with my eyes open to see none other than Orochimaru and Kabuto standing behind me. Orochimaru was leaning close to me so that his tongue was touching me. I turned back around to look at the Akatsuki. They were staring at him, so he must be there.

"AHHHHHHHHHIIIIEEEEEE!!!" I screamed leaping on to Sasori once again. Luckily he saw me and caught me this time. "That's it! I'm not moving ever again!" I shouted, as Orochimaru just grinned and Kabuto gave me this 'I'm sorry you've just been scarred for life look.'

Hi!!! Thanks for reading!!! The only reason Orochimaru is here is because I wanted Kabuto and they kinda come as a pair. Thankies for the people who reviewed, favorited, or read the story! Next chapter should be out soon, and with me reenacting the deaths of our precious Akatsuki. Please tell me what I could do better!

**Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me or else it would be completely different. Myself belongs to me because I have ownership rights here.**


	4. Extreme Confusededness

**Chapter 3**

**Extreme Confuseded-ness and the ever so helpful Mi-chan**

I slowly crawled out of Sasori's lap. I went to Orochimaru, and promptly poked him in the forehead. He snapped back, and everyone gave me this weird look. Then it started to blur, everything….becoming….so….hazy…

* * *

My eyes snapped open. I sat up slowly, feeling like I had a hangover. I winced, and put my head in my hands. Slowly I reached for my glasses and shoved them on my face. I looked around my room, taking in the yellow walls, purple sheer curtains, the computer, Sasori, and my messy floor. I sighed and laid back down. It was all just a dream…

I shot up so fast I got a head rush. "AHHHIIIIIEEEEE! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?????!!!!!" Sasori had this weird look on his face. I crawled out of bed and waved my hand in front of his face. "Hello…?" Suddenly there was a –POOF- and Sasori was no longer there. "HUH?" My eyes shot around the room, but saw nothing. "Mew~" I looked down and saw a red kitten, the color of Sasori's hair. It mewed again and with a –POOF- Sasori was back. I took a step back. "Wha-huh-OMFJWTFBBQ!!!!!" Then I fainted.

* * *

I shot up screaming. "AHHHHIIIIIEEEEE NOW I'M CONFUSEDED!!!!" I slowly began to calm down as I looked around the room. It looked the same as it always did, pretty messy nut surprisingly I knew where everything was at. There was also no random anime characters that were turning into cats. I sighed. The whole thing had been a dream. How could I be so stupid? It was a nice dream...until Orochimaru came in. I shuddered subconsciously before I got up to start my day.

After I had showered, dressed, poured myself some coffee, and was thoroughly enjoying a Blueberry Toaster Strudel, I felt the need to watch some anime. It was a Sunday, after all. So after several minutes of trying to remember my password (why did I even put a password?) I was happily on the internet, where I will probably be for the next 5 hours, like any normal day...of course, I can never have a normal day....

* * *

After about an hour, I'm on episode 24 of Naruto Shippuden, "The Third Kazekage." I basically stalking my computer as I slurp down the last of my oh-so-delicious ramen. Just then, when the episode was getting to it's best part, I feel arms wrap around me and a voice say, "Hey rape buddie~" So what do I do?

I scream of course, while flinging my bowl (which is porcelain, might I add) at the person who scared me so. So what does the other person do?

Scream of course. Especially because did I not only throw my bowl at them (which luckily did not break) but I had them on the floor, me sitting on their back with a fork pointed toward their neck. Why and how did I do this? Well, let's just say I watch too much Naruto....

"Owwwwww!!! You bitch why'd you do that?!" The person under me screamed. "It's me Michelle you douche-bag!!!"

"Oh. Heh heh, whoops.." I quickly removed the fork of impending doom and got up. I had accidentally tackled and nearly killed my best friend, Michelle, or Mi-chan, as I like to call her. She's an otaku (anime fan) just like me. However, I didn't usually go all crazy like this.

"Owwww, what was that for?" Mi-chan whined at me. I huffed and went to pause my episode by hitting the space bar before speaking.

"Well I AM watching Naruto, and you just come up behind me going, 'Hey rape buddie~' What ELSE would I do? You know what don't answer that..."

Michelle laughed. "Are you SURE you don't want me to answer that?" I reached back towards my desk to grab an empty water bottle, then flung it at her head.

"Just shut up Michelle."

* * *

After a few more hours of anime fun, it had gotten a little late. We were both still red in the face from reading this one comic online. After laughing for another minute, re-reading the comic and laughing some more, I finally calmed down enough to make my face completely serious.

"Hey Mi-chan."

"What?"

"I'm going...to stalk you mother for a living."

"B-b-but that's my job!"

"Then you've just been outsourced."

"What does that mean?!"

"Think about it really hard."

"Ha ha you said HARD"

_SMACK._

"Don't be a pervert, Michelle."

"Owwww...wait...does that mean I'm...fired?!"

"Yes. Yes it does."

And with that I was already out the front door and over to my next neighbors house, which just happened to be Michelle. Convenient, huh? However Michelle was already right behind me, stalking me.

"Asuki, look over there!"

"I'm not that stupid."

"No, seriously!"

So of course I was stupid and glanced where she was pointing. I was going to make some sort of random comeback, but there really was something there. It looked like two boys, the same age we were, one severely injured, the other one holding him up.

"OMJ Mi-chan what do we do?!"

"Go help them dumb-ass!"

"Oh."

Michelle was already running towards them, me right behind her. We reached them as soon as the badly injured one passed out and fell, bringing the other one with him.

"P-please, help us..."

* * *

**Muwhahahahahahaha! A cliff hanger! Anyway whad'ja think? I thought it's okay, but whatever. So leave reviews (they make me write faster) favorite it, put it on your alerts, all that jazz....be prepared, because the next one will come out much sooner!**


	5. New Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Okay, I can't seem to finish the next chapter. . Anyway, if you have any ideas please message me and I'll send you what I got.

I ADMIT DEFEAT YOU STUPID CHAPTER! PLEASE, JUST WRITE YOURSLEF!

Edit: I will not be continuing this story. When I wrote this, I was a weaboo/narutard, and thought this was actually funny. I am deeply sorry for those who read this crap. However, I will be leaving it up, as some of you seem to have liked it. I have some ideas and will hopefully be posting much better stories in the future.


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